Cringy Things You Did If You Grew Up Mormon Like Me In Southern Utah!
If you grew up in Southern Utah, there's a GREAT CHANCE that you probably were a "Mormon"! We did a lot of things that will probably make you laugh or cringe to think back on!
1. DRESS UP LIKE A PIONEER FOR THE TREK:
Luckily, I did NOT do this one, but my friends did! This is like a week long camping trip where you essentially pretend you're a pioneer pushing a covered wagon! The CRINGIEST part is that you'd pretend a 5 pound bag of sugar is your "Baby". After a few days, they tell you the baby didn't survive and now you have to bury it! GIRLS WOULD SOB OVER THE BURYING OF THEIR SUGAR BAG. Makes me laugh every single time.
2. Bless Your Donut:
Have you ever prayed that a donut will "Nourish and Strengthen" your body? I have. A DONUT!
3. Non-Swearing Swear words:
Was "Piss" a bad word in your family? It was in mine! "Piss" is like the F-Word to my mom. I even grew up with friends that weren't allowed to say "Suck", "Fart" "Stupid" or "Shut Up"!
4. Can't Hangout on Sundays or Mondays:
Hanging out with your friends on Sundays were ALWAYS a big fat NO! But... Even Monday's were a no! "Sorry man! I have Family Home Evening tonight! We can't hangout!"
5. Watching Videos About The Dangers Of Drugs:
I remember being at Scouts one night and we had to watch a video on DRUGS! It showed a kid getting high from a can of whip cream! From then on, I was always got nervous that I would die of an overdose if I sprayed whip cream in my mouth!
6. Sprite Good... Coke Bad
Everytime I hear the word "Refreshments" It brings me RIGHT BACK to the church! But WHY was it okay to have Sprite, Shasta, and Fresca... But Coca-Cola was the Devil's soda?!
7. The Devil Owns The Water On Sundays Only
Have you ever heard the term "The Devil's in the water on Sundays"? I grew up with REAL FEAR of swimming in my 5-foot-deep swimming pool because I thought the Devil was going to get me and drown me! How did the Devil obtain rights to the water on Sundays?!
8. Modest Is The Hottest:
I've said it. The words have actually come out of my mouth. Girls were putting long sleeve shirts under their dresses to remain MODEST. Not to mention the "Mormon Shorts" that go down to the kneecap. SO HOT.
9. Honking At Missionaries:
This one is ENGRAINED into my soul. If I ever see two kids in black pants and a white shirt and tie... I have to fight the urge to NOT honk my horn and wave out my window! WHY AM I THIS WAY?!
10. We Can't Be Friends. You're Not Mormon.
I've actually heard this said before. Now, looking back, I feel really bad for those kids that probably felt less-than for not being LDS. But I remember meeting friends and being in TOTAL SHOCK when they told me they weren't Mormon. I didn't believe them for a longggggg time. EVERYONE I knew was Mormon!
11. Bringing Your Scriptures Everywhere:
I played sports ALL GROWING UP, and I remember ALWAYS seeing scriptures. You'd have your baseball bag, your cleats, your uniform, your... Scriptures? I'd be in a hotel with my teammates, but a few of the guys didn't join us for pizza and movies because they were reading about Abraham!
YES: Facebook Groups We NEED In Southern Utah
If you live in Southern Utah, you're probably a part of a few Facebook groups!
The big ones:
- St. George Word of Mouth
- Southern Utah Yard Sale
- What's Happening in Cedar City and Iron County
- St. George Yard Sale
But.. I think we need MORE!
Here are my best ideas for Facebook Groups in Southern Utah!
Can someone please start a group about the traffic in The Gorge? If I'm headed to mesquite, am I going to be stuck for 45 minutes without phone service? Should I go the back way through Ivins! Come on! Someone get this started!
MILFS & DILFS of Southern Utah:
Us parents are getting a little older now, and less hot! We need a confidence boost! You know how good I would feel about myself If someone posted an anonymous photo of me eating all the samples at Costco?! I would LOVE THAT!
Southern Utah Nosy Neighbors:
Screw celebrity gossip! I want to know about your neighbors! Did the cops show up and arrest one of them? I want to know! Did the neighborhood "Karen" call the HOA President about your lawn gnome? I want to know! Did your next door neighbors get into a shirts-off-fist-fight on their front lawn? I want to know about it!
Southern Utah Swingers:
Look... We know they exist! They're here. I just want to know who they are. I'm not wanting to join in on their shenanigans, but I just want to know if anyone I interact with is about that life! It's curiosity more than anything!
Don't Go To These Local Restaurants:
Did you have a bad experience? Do you want to whine about it? I WANT TO HEAR ABOUT IT! Every post can be anonymous. Maybe the server was rude to you, or the food was awful. Honestly, I just want to know before I waste my money there too!
Southern Utah Hidden Cops:
We've all done it... Maybe we're speeding a little and before you know it: BOOM! Cop is there hiding! Let's get an app going for this one as well. Where did you see the cop hiding out? I just want to know to slow down BEFORE I reach that place on Bluff Street!
Southern Utah Missed Connections:
This one would be AWESOME! But only if it's HUGE! Like everyone in town is on it. Have you ever been to like... Albertson's and you keep making eye contact with the cute gal in produce, but you don't have the guts to say anything? Once you leave, post on the page "CUTE GIRL IN PRODUCE AT ALBERTSON'S! I WANT YOU!" Chances are she'll see it and be like "YES! Thank you for posting! I wasn't brave enough either!" This is a great idea! I'm just trying to make a love connection out here!
Utah: TRUE FACTS That Sound Fake!
It's no surprise, Utah is America's favorite state! Here are some FACTS about The Beehive State that sound 100% made up!
Utah has the YOUNGEST population in the nation!
It's true! When you think Utah, you may think OLD TIMERS, RETIRED PEOPLE, GRANDPARENTS! But approximately 30% of Utah is under 18 years old! Utah's average age of the population is 31.5 years old! The next closest is Texas at 35.2. Maine comes in at the oldest in the country with an average age of 45!
Utah is home to the OLDEST theme park in the USA!
Lagoon, baby! Lagoon opened it's doors in 1886! Shoot-the-Chutes was the first ride, a boat ride going down a ramp, splashing into the water! Literally 137 years old! Grover Cleveland was the Pres!
Gayest City in America?
That's right! Salt Lake City was named America's GAYEST city in 2012 by Advocate.com. Salt Lake already has a HUGE Pride Parade every June, but they also had International Mr. Leather semifinalist, nude yoga classes, an LGBT bookstore, and Sundance Festival.
The first KFC was in Utah!
The Colonel lived in Utah? That's right! The first KFC is located at 3890 S. State Street, in Salt Lake City. The name 'Kentucky Fried Chicken' actually came from the painter that was creating a sign for 'Harman's Cafe', and the name KFC stuck!
The WORST AIR in the WHOLE WORLD?
MOST of Utah has very clean, pretty air but NOT Salt Lake City. On August 6, 2021, Salt Lake City had THE WORST AIR QUALITY in the entire WORLD! That inversion will GETCHA!
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