Look: You Can’t Own These Pets In The State of Utah

America! Land of the free. Home of the brave. The greatest defender of freedom in the world.

And Utah, a mini-America. Freedom, free agency rules in the Beehive State. We value being able to do what we like.

Within reason, of course.

So where does reason end, when it comes to personal property. You can own a home, but can only build it so high. You can own a car, but only drive it so fast. You can start a fire, but only in certain places and at certain times.

And you can own a pet, but not THAT pet.

I went down a rabbit-hole the other day, tempted by the headline: "That's Wild: See the Pets Banned In Each State" and it got me wondering about Utah's pet laws. I am not a pet owner as a family member has some severe allergies, but I'd like to think if I wanted to pick up a pet monkey (haven't you always wanted a monkey?), that would be OK.

Uh, nope!

In Utah, you can't have a monkey, ape or gorilla as a pet. I can see banning an ape or gorilla, which are very large animals and could pose a public threat, but a monkey?

I mean, you can own a pet alligator (with the proper license), a pet chicken, a pet boa constrictor, but not a monkey!

By the way, you can forget that pet lemur, cheetah or kangaroo, too. Those are outlawed.as well.

Guess I'll have to settle for an ocelot.