"My baloney has a first name,

It's O-S-C-A-R.

My baloney has a second name,

It's M-A-Y-E-R.

Oh, I love to eat it every day,

And if you ask me why, I'll say,

"Cause Oscar Mayer has a way with B-O-L-O-G-N-A."

If you are in your 40s or so, you probably were singing that, not reading it in your head. It's OK, I won't tell.

Back in the day, some of those commercial jingles were so darned charming. "Have a Coke and smile," "Ho Ho Ho, Green Giant," "Have it your way," and "Two all beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions on a sesame seed bun," were among the slogans/songs that were imprinted in our young brains permanently.

I don't think it ruined any of us, but rather added to the spice that is life. I didn't jump into a career in radio because of Coke or Burger King or any of the others.

However, when my wife texted me this link yesterday, I have to admit that for a split second, I thought about changing careers.

The story, written for the Associated Press and re-published on ABC4's website, talks of Oscar Mayer's need for a few "brand ambassadors" to drive the Wienermobile across the country and represent the company at different promotional events.

"Drivers will visit more than 20 states, travel over 200,000 miles, and attend over 200 events, according to CNN. There are 12 open driver spots this year."

Now radio is fun and I love my job, but man that sounds like a blast.

I might even be qualified. Although I'm not a young recent college graduate, I already know the songs.

Oh I wish I were and Oscar Mayer wiener,

That is what I'd really like to be.

Cause if I were an Oscar Mayer wiener,

Everyone would be in love with me!"

The website to apply is https://www.oscarmayer.com/wienermobile

Get our free mobile app

The Key Benefits Of Marriage: More Sex, Less Loneliness, And Increased Happiness

Several new studies out, including one from survey specialist Gallup, shows married people are significantly happier than divorced or single people.

The only qualifier is that the marriage must be termed as "good" or "healthy."

Brad Wilcox, who has a book out now (available here on Amazon) title "Get Married: Why Americans Must Defy the Elites, Forge Strong Families, and Save Civilization," said the reasons are simple.

Being married provides these five simple things: 

1. More sex
2. Less loneliness
3. More meaning
4. Better-adjusted kids
5. More happiness

Wilcox, who is the founder and director of The National Marriage Project at the University of Virginia, recently gave an interview to the Deseret News. In the interview he touted the overwhelming significance of being married in factoring overall happiness in a person's life.

Recent studies have also shown that having a long-term relationship, usually a marriage, can even improve your physical health.

As for the happiness quotient, Gallup did a massive study via telephone, asking nearly 3-million people to rate their happiness based on a 0-10 scale. Gallup also asked the populace where they thought that same rating would be five years into the future.

The poll was conducted over a 15-year period (2009-2023) and married adults averaged being 17 percent higher than unmarried adults, with a couple of the years rating as high as 24 percent higher.

Interestingly, the poll showed no significant difference between age groups (as long as they were older than age 25), ethnicity or gender.

To quote ifstudies.com,

"This does not mean that marriage—as an institution or relationship—is necessarily the cause of a better life, though that certainly may be true. People who are persistently happier—or have attributes that tend to generate and sustain happiness, such as character traits like agreeableness, emotional stability, and conscientiousness—are more likely to seek out marriage and may be more likely to receive marriage proposals.

Again, all of these studies do offer this one qualifier: the marriage must be "healthy."

Wilcox told the Deseret News that a very small share of couples are not happy in their marriage. And if they’re not happy in their marriage, they’re not happy generally. They are certainly less happy than their single peers.

From Wilcox's book:

"“We are social animals. We are hardwired to connect. And when we can do that, in the context of a good marriage, we’re just much more likely to realize that classic American pursuit — the Jeffersonian pursuit, you know, in the Declaration, which is the pursuit of happiness.”

For more on valuing marriage during this National Marriage Week, click here.

Get our free mobile app