I'm writing this at 7pm on Sunday night. However, this Sunday night feels different. It feels like it's midnight. That's because today is one of the dumbest days of all time... DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME ENDS! Why do we do this to ourselves?! Our kids wake up early, and we're all exhausted at 6pm. It's a joke!

Here is the complete list of things Utah needs to CHANGE!

Daylight Savings:

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The obvious. Let's just stop this madness. Why do we need the sun to set so early? Around Christmas time, it gets dark at like 5:15. How is that helpful for anyone?! There were rumors that it would finally come to a halt, but year after year, here we are. Let's just end it already. Is there ANYONE who absolutely loves it when it gets dark at 5pm? Is that person a bat?!

Outlawing The Lottery:

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Lately we've had lotteries up past A BILLION DOLLARS! So many people are headed to the borders to buy their tickets. I'm an American, and If I want to buy a lottery ticket, I should have that right, right? Plus, ALL that money can be used for so many things like education, public services, poverty, and homelessness. WHY NOT?!

Big Brother:

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It feels like the government oversteps sometimes, doesn't it?  The alcohol is watered down, plus... where can you even buy it? I don't drink alcohol, I don't use any cannabis. But why does the government make that choice for me? I think it's really strange, man. Drinking is legal, let's not make everyone jump through hoops to get it. Again... I don't even like alcohol, but I like living in a free country.

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OUCH! 10 Things That Offend You If You're From Southern Utah!

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Hey there! If you're from Southern Utah, you can probably relate to this. If you're planning on visiting Southern Utah, this is good for you to read! Also, CAN'T WAIT to read the comments of people saying "I'm born and raised here and this doesn't offend me!" Great, man. Let's just relax now. HERE WE GO!

1. Being told a certain Drive-In on St. George Blvd is "Too Expensive":

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This business is now COMPLETELY shut down, but they had an ARMY of people coming after me for saying their food is expensive. Apparently, I need a higher paying job and "go to yelp, if I NEED to write a review" wtf.

2. The words "GREATER ZION":

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Don't you DARE say those words. "Greater Zion" is like the guy your girl told you not to worry about, then you break up and she's doing the Walk-Of-Shame out of his house at 7am. We HATE those words!

3. Change. Any change. AT ALL:

Utah.Gov
Utah.Gov
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Utah.Gov
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Don't change the flag! Stop building homes! Stop bringing in new restaurants! Stop making this place better! We want to pretend it's 1970 forever!

4. A California License plate:

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If your car has a California plate, just HIDE! They're coming after you. You'll catch a middle finger. You'll get cut off in traffic. Did you commit murder? No... You just have a California License plate!

5. Anything with the words "Drag" and "Show" in the title:

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Don't EVER pair those words up. Don't even JOKE about those words together. Those words don't belong here! Send those words back to where they came from!

6. Saying Crumbl's cookies are good:

Instagram: @CrumblCookies
Instagram: @CrumblCookies
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Don't you dare tell someone Crumbl has a good cookie! You must eat it in secret in an alley, like you're cheating on your wife! Don't you dare go admitting that it actually tastes good!

7. Saying Cumbl's cookies are NOT good:

Instagram: @CrumblCookies
Instagram: @CrumblCookies
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Don't you dare tell someone Crumbl sucks! This is a local Utah company! You are not allowed to have an opinion on Crumbl! They have millions of followers online! Just shut up about Crumbl. Don't even THINK of saying anything.

8. Pronouncing Zion "Zy-On":

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Hey pal... It's ZY-IN like LION. You're clearly not from here, and now you need to leave! We can't have you out here saying ZY-ON. What're you... A CALIFORNIAN?!

9. Protesting ANYTHING Publicly:

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Wait! You're angry about something?! Well I'm angry that you're angry about it! Protesting at Planned Parenthood? Protesting BLM on Main Street? Here come the guys with GIANT LIFTED TRUCKS to save the day!

10. Posting a photo of a celebrity you met in town:

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Breanna Baker
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"LEAVE THEM ALONE! THEY'RE JUST A NORMAL PERSON!" It would be AWESOME to meet your favorite celebrity at Cafe Rio here in town, but if you post that photo... Get ready for all the "LET THEM BE! THEY DON'T DESERVE THIS" comments. GUYS... RELAX!

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Utah: TRUE FACTS That Sound Fake!

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It's no surprise, Utah is America's favorite state! Here are some FACTS about The Beehive State that sound 100% made up!

Utah has the YOUNGEST population in the nation!
It's true! When you think Utah, you may think OLD TIMERS, RETIRED PEOPLE, GRANDPARENTS! But approximately 30% of Utah is under 18 years old! Utah's average age of the population is 31.5 years old! The next closest is Texas at 35.2. Maine comes in at the oldest in the country with an average age of 45!

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Utah is home to the OLDEST theme park in the USA!
Lagoon, baby! Lagoon opened it's doors in 1886! Shoot-the-Chutes was the first ride, a boat ride going down a ramp, splashing into the water! Literally 137 years old! Grover Cleveland was the Pres!

Instagram: LagoonPark
Instagram: LagoonPark
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Gayest City in America?
That's right! Salt Lake City was named America's GAYEST city in 2012 by Advocate.com. Salt Lake already has a HUGE Pride Parade every June, but they also had International Mr. Leather semifinalist, nude yoga classes, an LGBT bookstore, and Sundance Festival.

Mormons Protests Church's New Ruling Against Children Of Same-Sex Couples
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The first KFC was in Utah!
The Colonel lived in Utah? That's right! The first KFC is located at 3890 S. State Street, in Salt Lake City. The name 'Kentucky Fried Chicken' actually came from the painter that was creating a sign for 'Harman's Cafe', and the name KFC stuck!

KFC Opens Shop And Museum On Original Kentucky Fried Chicken Site
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KFC Opens Shop And Museum On Original Kentucky Fried Chicken Site
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The WORST AIR in the WHOLE WORLD?
MOST of Utah has very clean, pretty air but NOT Salt Lake City. On August 6, 2021, Salt Lake City had THE WORST AIR QUALITY in the entire WORLD! That inversion will GETCHA!

Salt Lake City Pollution Is Visible During Winter Inversion
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Salt Lake City Pollution Is Visible During Winter Inversion
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