Utah’s Obsession with “Salads” and Why We’ve Gone Too Far

Turkey, ham, potatoes, pumpkin pie, stuffing, and green bean casserole. These are some of the Thanksgiving staples you’d find at the dinner table; However, I’m willing to bet you think there’s something missing, right?  

The salad. I’m not talking about your usual green leaf salad with dressing. I’m talking about the many “family specialty” salads that pad out your plate space. 

Utah families are very guilty of getting experimental with these salads, claiming they’re a family tradition, but it’s more like a strange obsession with having an outcast for the spread of the usual Thanksgiving fare. 

Now what kind of salad does your family make? I’m willing to bet that the salad isn’t just a bunch of veggies or fruits. I bet your family’s salad has a whole lot of Cool Whip, and or cottage cheese.  

A lot of these abominations tend to have a surplus of coconut and pineapple, and some even throw some really weird junk into the mix. I was recently informed of a side dish called Snickers Salad, which takes pieces of the candy bar and puts them in a mixture of cool whip and apple slices. 

Of course, St. George has its own version of the side salad, called Dixie Salad, which has apples, pomegranates, pecans, and cream.  

I’m sorry, I can’t get over putting Snickers into a salad, and I certainly can’t get over putting Sour Patch Kids in a salad. Not kidding. Granted, it’s not just Sour Patch Kids, it’s a bunch of gummy like candies mixed together into what I can only describe as a sugary mass. 

Now I’m going to be really picky about this. The actual definition of salad is “a cold dish of various mixtures of raw or cooked vegetables, usually seasoned with oil, vinegar, or other dressing and sometimes accompanied by meat, fish, or other ingredients.” 

So mixing a bunch of candy together is more like a concoction than a salad, but this is why I’m bringing it up. 

My family makes a Jello pretzel salad that tastes incredible, but the issue is that it’s absolutely not a salad. It’s more like a parfait with a pretzel crust and Cool Whip base.  

Pasta salad is another big one at my family gatherings, but that one actually does qualify as a salad thanks to the sweet melody of cucumbers, tomatoes, and olives. 

Hopefully you’re able to enjoy your family’s specialty salad this Thanksgiving, but please don’t claim it’s an actual salad. It’s 100% a dessert and you know it. 

...What do you mean salad can be a dessert?