Water is the Big Concern, But Some of Ivins Concerns Are Funny

Ivins recent did a huge public survey with nearly 4,500 homeowners receiving copies and nearly half of those returning the survey to city leaders.

The purpose behind the survey is noble, as city leaders are putting together a master plan for the community and they are trying to make sure the thoughts and hopes of citizens are reflected in the plan.

From the survey results:

"We reached a 52.7% response rate for the survey. This high rate is unusual for this type of “blind” survey, where we did not have contact information on who received the survey so we could follow‐up. This large response is due in part to Mayor Hart’s determination to (a) make sure all households received a survey, and (b) his advertising the survey extensively through the “Let’s Plan Ivins Future Together” campaign."

Timeline of Events

4,553 surveys were mailed to all Ivins households on November 3rd, with a deadline of November 20th
More than 300 were returned due to an invalid address (billing addresses should have been used), and over 200 were returned as USPS said they were not deliverable, when in fact it was a valid address.
Those 300 returned due to a wrong address were labeled with the billing address by staff, and mailed again, as were the surveys with valid addresses.
As a result of many getting the survey late, the deadline was extended to December 7th.
The volunteers processed all surveys with everything input, proofed, and corrected by December 7th

Survey Comments

Ivins received 2,244 completed General Plan surveys, and 72% included comments. All comments were dictated into a 100+ page document (separate from this report), as completely and accurately as possible.

And while the ongoing drought and future concerns about water were foremost on people's minds, some of the comments, written anonymously on the returned surveys, left some scratching their heads.

The Word Cloud (above) shows what words or issues are most important to people. It doesn’t show what they think about these words or issues though. That’s what the report shows.

I reiterate, these are real comments submitted anonymously. There were literally thousands of comments, and the full list is here. Below is a list of some of my head-scratching favorites (my comments in italics):

Streets are too dark and hard to see. Ivins is purposely a certified Night Sky community.
Too many two-story buildings that block views of Red Mountain. What? Two-story buildings?! The horror!
Quit building. You are ruining Ivins. As if the city council has any control over private property.
Make housing affordable. How is my son going to be able to afford $2000 in rent? No more townhomes. No more higher density homes. These contradictory comments came from the same person.
Landscapers are way too expensive here. Um, OK. Fix that city council, would ya?
Walmart That was the entire comment. Apparently they want a Big Box Store.
We need the freedom to build the homes we want without restrictions, and with grass. You do know you live in a desert, right?
More traffic enforcement. Unless they pull you over, right?
We need more businesses like Costco, Target. A Costco? In Ivins?
Cellular coverage is terrible, especially now that this is a town for tourists. Wait, what?
No pickleball courts. Oh boy, this is the start of an argument.
No air traffic. You know, to heck with those annoying LifeFlight helicopters.
More parks, swimming pool, bike trails. More grocery stores. Stay small, quiet, and safe. Again, these were all from the same survey.
Pickleball courts. The argument rages on.
How about a creamery like in Beaver? Mmmm, cheese curds.
I would like salons, spas, a gym. So, a strip mall?
To quote Ronald Reagan, the most terrifying words in the English language are "I'm from the government and I'm here to help." My favorite comment in the survey.
Stop trying to help. Yeah, you have your nerve!
I would enjoy more food options. Um, how about pickled eggplant?
Water for plants and lawns. Yeah, city council. Make it rain!
No pickleball courts. Here we go.
More parks, add more pickleball courts. The beat goes on.
A water park, nice restaurants, Hobby Lobby, bar and grill, Spaghetti Factory. Woo hoo, let's talk Spaghetti Factory into opening a restaurant in Ivins.
Too many barking dogs. Who let the dogs out?!
Trader Joe's, Target, WinCo. Join the club.
Reduce the options for low-income housing, apartments, resorts, and townhomes. Don't allow multi-unit apartments or townhomes. Yeah, keep those "poor people" out!
Healthy and useful shops only. Huh? So no ice cream parlors or rock shops?
No new pickleball courts in my neighborhood. Fight!
Please do not let Ivins become another Santa Clara. Ouch! Santa Clara residents are officially allowed to be mad now.
More palm trees lining the streets. Um, this isn't Los Angeles. Palm trees need moisture.
Please make this city cute. Swipe right for a cute city.
Don't turn us into California. Maybe palm trees would help?
Dog poop all over the city is a bigger deal than dogs off leash. Really? Ivins has a dog poop problem?
Hold development for ten years. Yep, slam that door shut.
I love roundabouts. Wait, what? Someone loves roundabouts?!
Don't want tree huggers telling me how many Christmas lights I can put up. This one cracks me up.
Come up with low-income housing. My single parent daughter has to live with me in my 1,000 square foot home. Show Washington County how to help people like my daughter. Please no more multi units for sale. Sooo, which is it?
More tennis and pickleball. Ooh boy, we seem to have an argument raging.
Not happy with all the high-density building, specifically moved to Ivins to avoid that. Young people be damned!
Regarding unkept properties, don't stick your nose where it doesn't belong. Yeah, if I want a toilet in my front yard, that's none of your business.
No more marathons. Where did that come from?
More restaurants, less juice places. A raving anti-smoothieite!
Is there a way to do affordable housing that's not high density? Or to do high density in a way that's not unsightly? Yeah, maybe the poor people can live underground where we don't have to look at them.
Costco, Deseret Industries. But no more traffic?
Bars and nightlife. How about Mardi Gras, too?
Gym, athletic sports training, firing range. Maybe they can shoot out the street lights that are making things too bright?
A hotel or two would be helpful with restaurant. But it can only be one story high!
We need homes for the middle class. Wait, whose side are you on?
No more building of apartments. *Sigh* NIMBY!
Bookstores, boutiques, galleries. Boutiques?
Pickleball courts! Anyone keeping score?
Need affordable housing or apartments. Yup.
We don't need high density housing. Um, gotta put them somewhere.
Stop building barracks. Ten-hut!
Control the people walking dogs to pick up after their pet. Maybe there is a poop problem in Ivins.
Wait until it rains big time before adding anymore people. There oughta be a law.
More business near, but not necessarily in, Ivins. Get right on that, city council!
Night sky. Hmm, which is it? Lights? No lights? I'm confused.
State liquor store, music venue, salon, veterinarian, laundromat, drive-in movie, skate rink. But no more traffic, K?
Control the bamboo fields. Huh? Is this really a problem?
Streetlights. Darkness. imprisoning me ...
No more businesses. We are unique. Let's not become another St George or tourist trap. Oh, but lower taxes, too.
New homes should not have wood fireplaces. What did a fireplace ever do to you?
No apartments. More NIMBY here.
No dog parks. But where will we put all the dog poop?
More decent eating places, not cheap and bakery pizza. Um, most of us like bakeries and pizza.
Night sky is very important spiritually. Ohhmmmm.
Would love to see some restaurants and a grocery stores here. But again, no more traffic, right?
More and more residents installing permanent holiday lights, they are a nuisance and left on all the time, too many days and all night. Bah humbug!
A strict, no burn policy. Liquor store. It goes without saying that these two propositions should go together. Vodka and bonfires? Not a good idea.
Pickleball! Or No pickleball! I forget who's winning.

Honestly, the list goes on and on and on (109 pages worth!). There are hundreds of more comments. Kudos to Ivins and Mayor Chris Hart for the ambitious project. And good luck on trying to make everyone happy.